On terra. TERRA! (Ooga-booga)

Okay, so the threat level has been raised to orange in DC and Newark, NJ (New York has been at orange ever since September 11). This is the result of late-breaking terror threats on some of our nation's financial centers. This is no joke; President Bush was quoted by the Washington Post as saying,

It's serious business. I mean, we wouldn't be, you know, contacting authorities at the local level unless something was real.

But local authorities have been contacted, and residents of both towns can take comfort in the fact that in addition to the new security that they can see, there's more behind-the-scenes security to keep them safe from the terrorists that we know are coming.

But even with terrorist threats looming, we need to remember that - what's that? I'm sorry? Ladies and gentlemen, this just in - the late-breaking news that has necessitated the royal tizzy currently enjoyed by Tom Ridge and friends is actually, well, old. Like, way old. Like, several years old, dating back to before the September 11 attacks, like news that Condi Rice considered "historical" back in August of 2001. Said one senior law enforcement official, "There is nothing right now that we're hearing that is new. Why did we go to this level? I still don't know that."

Why would our trusted leaders do something like that? Why would they arouse the fears of American citizens over news that was considered old before it became pertinent the first time? What reason could the Bush administration possibly have for randomly frightening us with old news?

Ohhhh.