There are people whose opinions on the meaning of life are closely followed. They are the ones we look to for 140-character strokes of brilliance. They are our modern-day philosophers, our reliable dispensaries of little wisdom-gelcaps. They are celebrities, and they always have something to say.
Tweets John Mayer:
You know who the most flamboyant crowd is? Straight, drunk girls. They're like a bunch of little Charles Nelson Reillys.
and Lindsay Lohan:
@samantharonson doesn't respond 2me b/c her family will cut her off if she contacts me...They control the one I love&im incapable of makingThat damn character limit. Bring it home, Linds:
Any sort of difference. I'm in love with her, as she is in love with me....but her loved ones-hate her brilliance&resent her happiness
Convicted domestic abuser Chris Brown tells us:
IM SO TIRED OF LAME AZZ PEOPLE...UUGGGGGHHH>>loland then expounds with:
IM ALLERGIC TO LAMEZ..LOL...
One of the great questions of our time comes from Jessica Simpson:
Is "asks" even a word? If not, sorry 4 my layziness with grammar.
And one of the great answers of our time comes from P. Diddy:
BRAZIL!!!!! Ass! Ass! Ass! Phat round beautiful ASSES!!!!! Everywhere! Its a ASS suniami!!!!!!!! I think I like it here!!! Lol
But the problem with Twitter is that it's such a harsh, bland medium. The written word, pah--where is the nuance? Where is the emotion??!!? Where is TEH PASSION???!!//??!1!? Right here, says the Washington Post.
(Enjoy more dramatic tweetage hither and hither and hither and then keep going.)
None of this is to say that all celebrity tweets are incomprehensible Net-babble. Convicted domestic abuser Chris Brown, for instance, does have one nugget of true wisdom to offer:
IMA TALK ABOUT OTHER SH** FROM NOW ON.... ima fall back lol.. twitter will get u IN TROUBLE...lol