Thursday, October 13, 2011

On TV shows that aren't meant to be watched as marathons: Glee

Okay, so the problem with Netflix is that when you find a show that's available in full seasons, the temptation exists to watch them, well, in full seasons. You tell yourself you're going to watch two episodes, and then it's late but there's time for one more, but that one was a two-parter and now you have to watch the second part, and before you know it you're asleep in front of the TV, dreaming that you're sitting at a piano and Lea Michele is circling you like a shark, and you wake up screaming.

And as you watch, little things start to jump out at you: Rachel says something obnoxious in three... two... one... There. Mr. Schue hands out an awkwardly conceived theme assignment in three... two... one... There. Accompanist(s) appear without warning in three... two... one... There. After-school-special moral in three... two... All things that would seem quasi-natural (natural for a musical-comedy TV show) one episode at a time become annoyingly predictable in sequence.

So no, Glee isn't meant to be watched as a marathon. There are just too many tropes that are hard to ignore when they're stacked on top of each other.

1. Finn and the drums. For some reason, Finn Hudson always ends up on the drums. Always. He's on the drums. He's singing and on the drums. He's singing and on the drums and then… walking away from the drums. That other guy is on the drums, and somehow Finn is back there playing too. And Finn knows all of two rhythms. Finn, just give John back his drumsticks and go back to singing in a tenor that's kind of disconcerting from a man of your size. Give him--Finn, give him the sti--Drop it. Drop it.

2. Poop notes. Lea Michele/Rachel Berry is passionate about her music. So passionate, in fact, that each high note has to be laid like an egg. Watch the way she squats down, squints her eyes, and wails out that note--it's equal parts "feeling the music" and "needing more roughage." (Now that Blaine has transferred to McKinley, we see more of Darren Criss's approach, which involves squinting his eyes, wrinkling his nose, and turning his head in the classic, "Jesus, God, who beefed?")

3. Asian kids are Asian. Things that Mike Chang and Tina Cohen-Chang (unrelated; dating; because all Asians are named "Chang," right?) talk about: Asian food, Asian couple's counseling, "Asian kiss[es]," getting an "Asian F," and Asian Santa Claus. And something about tea made from panda hair. Because they're Asian!

3a. Mercedes is big and black. And sassy! Had you noticed? She sings about weaves and tater-tots and says "hell to the no" a lot. (Also: Kurt is gay and wears designer clothes and sings songs written for girls!)

4. The Grand Piano Derby. Put Rachel, Finn--frankly, put any of the kids up next to the grand piano and they'll end up circling it over and over and over as they sing like they're looking for an opening to pounce. I'm just waiting for the day poor Brad finally gets uncontrollably queasy and barfs on Rachel's penny loafers.

5. Nude erections. Say it. "And now, some song weakly shoehorned into the theme of the week, performed by the Nude Erections." Say it out loud.

Glee remains fun--just in measured doses. Keep at least a week between episodes, and you might not notice the constant barrage of "Lauren Zizes is fat, but she thinks she's super hot!" jokes and find the character kind of cool and entertaining. And we have to give Sue Sylvester credit for her Tupperware-esque shelf life: Even an episode that's stale as vending-machine crackers can be perked up with a cheerleader cannon and a reference to her time in Special Forces.

17 comments:

zenbubba said...

New Directions would be an outstanding name for a gay bar

Chuck said...

Couldn't disagree about small doses more. I resisted the show, but my youngest daughter kept telling me I had to watch it. so it was on Netflix, like you said, and the wife, let's try it out. A week later, and we had blown through 22 episodes, and signed up for free week of Hulu+ so we could blow through another 22. Then we had to get little IV drips one episode at a time. I prefer the overdose without commercial interruption.

Everything you say about the stereotypes and the formulaic script is true. Still, the shows are fun. Sue Sylvester is a hoot. That's the way Chuck "Cs" it.

Anonymous said...

Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon everyday.
It will always be interesting to read articles from other authors and practice something from their sites.


my blog post; 激安オークリー

Anonymous said...

Hey very interesting blog!

Feel free to visit my web site - レイバン 通販

Anonymous said...

Fabulous, what a website it is! This webpage presents helpful facts to us, keep it up.



my page - オークリーメガネ

Anonymous said...

hi!,I really like your writing so a lot! share we keep up a correspondence more approximately your article on AOL?

I require an expert in this space to solve my
problem. May be that's you! Taking a look forward to see you.

Look at my site; オークリー サングラス

Anonymous said...

Good post. I learn something totally new and challenging on websites I
stumbleupon on a daily basis. It's always helpful to read through articles from other writers and use something from their sites.

Also visit my web site - サングラス レイバン

Anonymous said...

Whats up are using Wordpress for your site platform? I'm new to the blog world but I'm trying to get started and set up my own.
Do you need any coding expertise to make your own blog?
Any help would be really appreciated!

my web page: オークリーメガネ

Anonymous said...

Hey there! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering if you knew
where I could locate a captcha plugin for my comment form?

I'm using the same blog platform as yours and I'm having problems finding one?
Thanks a lot!

Look at my webpage 激安オークリー

Anonymous said...

I blog often and I seriously appreciate your content.

This great article has truly peaked my interest. I am going to
take a note of your site and keep checking for new
information about once per week. I opted in
for your RSS feed as well.

Feel free to surf to my web blog; オークリー サングラス

Anonymous said...

After checking out a handful of the articles
on your site, I seriously appreciate your technique of blogging.
I saved it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back in the near future.
Please visit my web site as well and let me know what you think.



Here is my web site: レイバンサングラス

Anonymous said...

Do you have a spam issue on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your situation; many of
us have created some nice practices and we are looking to trade strategies with other folks, please shoot me an email if interested.


my webpage レイバンサングラス

Anonymous said...

whoah this weblog is magnificent i like studying
your articles. Stay up the great work! You already know, a lot of persons are looking round for this information, you could help them greatly.



my blog レイバン ゴーグル

Anonymous said...

Thank you for some other wonderful article. The place
else may just anyone get that type of information in such a perfect approach of writing?
I have a presentation next week, and I'm on the look for such info.

My web-site :: 激安オークリー

Anonymous said...

This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger.
I have joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your magnificent
post. Also, I have shared your web site in my social networks!



Also visit my web site ... http://mails-world.com/WandaV48

Anonymous said...

Hurrah! At last I got a weblog from where I know how to truly
get valuable data concerning my study and knowledge.


Also visit my site ... www.walkdenhouse-blackpool.co.uk

Anonymous said...

I love what you guys are usually up too. Such
clever work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I've added you guys to my own blogroll.

my website レイバン