On Madeleine Albright, my babydaddy

Okay, so anyone watching “Meet the Press” on Sunday might have rightly assumed that I was communicating with Madeleine Albright via a tiny, tiny radio secreted in her left ear. I thought that my ideas would have a lot more credibility, and reach a much larger audience, coming out of her mouth. Here are some of the thoughts that we were able to share with the world:

I never did believe that there was a connection between al-Qaeda, Saddam Hussein and 9/11. But I now do think that Iraq has become a magnet and a gathering ground for terrorists.

Well, of course it is. You’ve got a bunch hyper-religious sociopaths who have been waiting for the hyper-secular tyrannical dictator of Iraq to get out so they could get in. It’s like mice swarming the house once the cat is gone. it doesn’t mean that the cat and the mice were collaborating; it means that when the cat’s away, the mice will have free reign to kidnap and murder in the name of Allah.

I think we clearly do not understand Islam completely and we have to figure out distinctions between those who also are victims of extremism and Islamic fundamentalism, jihadism.

To be sure. As simple as it would be for us to just see this as evil Muslims trying to corrupt our way of life and eventually take over the world and rape our wives and enslave our children and burn our churches to the ground, life just isn’t that easy. We’re dealing with a group of bad, bad people perverting a religion that, if you actually take the time to read the damn book, actually encourages peace and tolerance. Al Qaeda doesn’t represent Islam any more than Eric Rudolph represents Christianity, so let’s jump off the religious intolerance bandwagon.

And I'm very glad to see Saddam Hussein gone. That is good. But I'm not sure we're safer today than we were before. … I would say that the situation emanating from Iraq is more dangerous in terms of the number of terrorists that are out there and Afghanistan is half-finished job. We diverted our attention from Afghanistan to do a war of choice, not of necessity, in Iraq. The thing is now it is a necessity and not a choice to get it right in Iraq.

Absolutely. The people of Iraq, along with the rest of the world, are certainly better off without Saddam Hussein in power, but their lives don’t improve much when their country is overrun with terrorists and when the provisional government can’t even provide them with electricity on a regular basis. We had a thing going in Afghanistan, and when we got frustrated and bored, we turned our attentions elsewhere. But anyone who has seen “Fatal Attraction” knows that just ‘cause al Qaeda is under the water doesn’t mean they’re not coming back.

I wish the interim government of Iraq the very best, and we need to support it in every way we can because they are the hope and the future here.

Amen.