Wednesday, April 13, 2005

On training

Okay, so this one is confidential to Woman In My Building With Tiny, Mostly Hairless Dog:

Not once in the two months that you've been watering your dog outside my window has your incessant "Go potty, Honey. Honey, go potty" caused her to do her business in anything less than half an hour. That's half an hour outside my window coaxing your tiny, Chinese Crested-looking dog to do her business - and not in the dog yard, either, but in the garden under my window.

Perhaps, instead of begging "Honey" to "go potty" for those thirty minutes, you could bring a paperback and give the kid some peace and quiet to relieve herself. I suspect I'd suffer from performance anxiety if I had to face down a cheerleading squad every time I stepped into the loo. Regardless, if I'm forced to spend one more evening listening to your constant cajoling, something is coming out of that window, and it might just be Honey's leftovers from the previous visit.

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