Wednesday, July 13, 2005

On serious reportage

Okay, so I don't hate my job. "Hate," after all, is a really strong word, and there are actually a few things out there in the world right now that are worthy of such a word. Really important things. Things more important than bitching about my job. But I'm gonna, just for a minute.

This morning, I got one of those drop-everything crash assignments where someone tosses a press kit on your desk and tells you to turn it into a story. No problem, said I, flipping it open to discover that - gasp! - Badgley Mischka is launching a new bridge eveningwear line, to preview in August at the Atlanta apparel mart.

For those of you unfamiliar with Badgley Mischka, just think red-carpetness. Think Beyonce in a lavender silk mermaid dress with lace and silver beading, or Halle Berry in a silver satin gown with ruching and crosshatching on the bodice, or Cynthia Nixon in navy blue chiffon with gold beading and her boobs down to her knees. Jenna and Not Jenna at the presidential inauguration in 2005? Both in Badgley Mischka. Think about them, and then think about selling your car, and possibly your kidney, to pay for their dresses.

The huge deal, of course, is that fans of the line must no longer mortgage their homes in order to pay for his couture! The new bridge line makes Badgley Mischka fashion accessible to the average consumer with retail price points ranging from $400 to $1,500. As the PR chick told me, "The couture line targets women ages 30-50, but the bridge line is going to bring it down to 20 because it's so much more affordable." Yeah, I totally thought Badgley Mischka was out of my reach, but I can totally drop $400 for a silk charmeuse ruched halter top with chinchilla trim. My life has meaning once again.

I don't mean to get preachy, I realize that this isn't a revolutionary thought, and I realize that the glory of capitalism is that people like Mark Badgley and James Mischka can sell thousand-dollar hand-beaded satin cocktail dresses and people who have the money will buy them, but holy backflipping crap. Children are starving in Africa, people of various nationalities are dying in the Middle East, London just got its shit blown up, and the focus of my life is an "affordable" $1,500 French lace evening gown. Sometimes, I just want to go home and cut myself.

/ self-flagellation

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