Two things that should not be applied to the face.
Okay, so it's Leap Day, and we all know what that means: Happy birthday to motivational weirdo Tony Robbins (12), actor Antonio Sabato, Jr. (9), rapper Ja Rule (8), and Carolina Hurricanes goalie Cam Ward (6). It also means that it's the day for women to nut up and make their move; legend tells us that back in 5th-century Ireland, St. Brigit griped to St. Patrick about women having to wait for men to propose and was given a one-day window of opportunity every four years. Legend also tells us that in 1288, Queen Margaret of Scotland established a fine for men who refused Leap Day proposals that included a kiss and enough money to buy a new silk gown, gloves, and shoes.
Dearest male readers of Practically Harmless, we've been together for going four years now, and I've never felt closer to each and every one of you. Would any one of you do me the honor of being my husband? I'm a dress size 8 Tall, shoe size 9, or just send the money to my PayPal account.
What's good (for the week ending 2/29):
- um, getting free stuff on Leap Day. Like, obvy.
- Gilbert and Sullivan. I know I'm outing myself as a complete geek here, but I sat in on dress rehearsals for UAB's production of The Pirates of Penzance the other day, and it was just hilarious. My favorite has to be The Mikado, but I'll take Pirates in a pinch.
- "nutscrub." My brother and I were, for some reason, trying to find a male-based alternative to the classic, offensive-to-some "douchebag," and that's what we came up with. Say it. Say it like you're angry. Pretty satisfying, yes?
- Starburst Sour Fruit Chews
- thing Rick Astley would never do (h/t Amanda at Pandagon)
What's bad:
- Tim Russert. Okay, Tim, we get it; Barack Obama = Louis Farrakan. Thanks for saying it out loud instead of circulating it in an anonymous chain e-mail. You're a for-real journalist. Nutscrub.
- Prince Harry getting outed by the Drudge Report. Willing troops are in short supply in war zones right now (go figure), and now they're going to be O-N-E L-E-S-S because Matt Drudge couldn't keep his mouth shut and put Prince Harry, and his troops, in danger. Why do you hate America, nutscrub?
And I just had to mention:
- whatever the crap Mary Kate Olsen is doing with those sunglasses. Seriously, she looks like a bizarro version of Carrie Donovan. And if you're bizarro-ing the Old Navy Lady, you're bizarre indeed.
The Ten:
1. Cypress Hill, "How I Could Just Kill a Man"
2. Lenny Kravitz, "Bank Robber Man"
3. Pet Shop Boys, "Miserablism"
4. Billy Stewart, "Summertime"
5. Ella Fitzgerald, "Wait Till You See Him (De-Phazz remix)"
6. Marvin Gaye, "Let's Get It On"
7. Oasis, "F***in' in the Bushes"*
8. Wu-Tang Clan, "Wu-Tang Clan Ain't Nuthing ta F*** Wit"*
9. Goo Goo Dolls, "Iris"
10. Cibo Matto, "King of Silence"
*I'd considered giving up alcohol, swearing, and chocolate for Lent; I ended up going with all three. Mistake. At least I didn't try for caffeine, which I've done in the past; my coworkers protested. Vigorously.
So, what's good for you this week?
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