Wednesday, February 13, 2008

On Be a Dick Day 2008

Okay, so this is just a reminder that tomorrow, February 14, is the third annual observance of Be a Dick Day. This is the day for everyone who's spent the past year being thoughtful, considerate, sensitive, and occasionally romantic to cash in their saved-up karma points and act like an utter douchenozzle. Instead of taking her out to dinner, order in--and only order enough for yourself. Instead of shaving your legs and putting on that perfume you like, put on those footie flannel pajamas that make you desirable to no man and eat an entire plate of onion fritters for dinner. Me, I spent 2007 being a good and sympathetic listener and wearing flats so as not to tower over the 5'6" guy I was seeing, so I'm going to spend the entire night griping to whoever'll listen, and every time my feet touch the ground, they're going to be in three-and-a-half-inch stilettos.

Haven't been generous and considerate this past year? Sorry, you're on the hook. But I'll certainly think of you fondly as I whine my way through The Bourne Ultimatum and teeter around Southside in my towering pumps.

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