On more shallowness (because we can)

Okay, so so there's thin, and then there's skinny, and then there's bleeeeh. Courtesy of The Superficial, we have pictures of Nicole Ritchie and Mischa Barton at the beach together, probably weighing about a hundred and ten pounds between them. Seriously, it's hard to tell if they're trying to tan their skin or bleach their bones.


And the dog is thinking, "Oh, boy, a stick! A stick!"

Seriously, guys, not to be a bitter curvy girl here, but is that the least bit attractive? Or this? Or, dear Lord, this?

These women are young and, apparently, not terribly bright. They have to have handlers. I know that there was a point in Nicole Ritchie's life where some kind person said to her, "Nicole, honey, your hair looks like you left it for a week without washing and then styled it with an egg beater, and buttercup, I think the cat got at your top, and don't you want to put on pants of some kind?" I mean, hell, the girl showed up at the MTV Movie Awards looking like this, and honey, I'm fairly sure I hate that dress, but you just look so classy.

So if there is a person in this world who can turn Nicole from skank to swank, can that person not also influence her to eat something? Yes, I understand that there's a huge amount of pressure on young women in Hollywood to be not just hot, but the hottest, and not just thin, but the thinnest, but this girl's health has got to be in danger. And she's probably hanging out with Mischa because she's the only other girl who'll go to The Ivy with her and split a grape.

Please, nameless handler, get this girl a sandwich. Get her a salad. Hell, get her a glass of whole milk; just get something into her. 'Cause the only one on that beach looking hungrier than her is that dog, and we don't want to find her buried somewhere in his backyard for him to come back to later.