Okay, so November 27 and 29, those illustrious and oh-so-classy execs at Fox will be airing a two-part special with OJ Simpson titled, "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened."
No, really, I'm serious.
Seriously, OJ Simpson, former football star and center of a lengthy trial in 1994 after which he was acquitted for the death of his ex-wife and her friend, is now coming forward to say that no, he still totally didn't kill them, but if he had killed them, this is how he would have killed his children's mother.
Stop it, I'm serious.
The TV appearance coincides with the November 30 release of his book, If I Did It, which "hypothetically describes how the murders would have been committed.” Which he totally didn't, he swears. If he had done it, why would he spend so much time looking for the real killers at golf courses and all-inclusive resort spas across the country? He's just saying that if he had committed the murders, which he categorically denies, he knows exactly how he would have done it. If he'd done it. Which he didn't.
Really, y'all, I'm serious.
I give up.