Monday, June 18, 2007

On DoD R&D: This Is Your Soundtrack

Okay, so I'm horribly ashamed that I didn't get my Ten in this week, especially considering that I had this little tidbit to kick it all off:
Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.

Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed to CBS 5 that military leaders had considered, and then subsquently rejected, building the so-called "Gay Bomb."

Now, the story is actually several years old; the report on the use of such nonlethal chemical weapons was written in 1994, and the story first became public sometime in 2005. But now we have actual confirmation from the Pentagon that our best hope for victory in Iraq involves making their d00ds super ghey.

Other options?
- a spray to inflict “severe and lasting halitosis”
- a chemical that would make their skin very sensitive to sunlight
- a chemical that would make them irresistable to bees and/or rats

The provided classification for these nontraditional chemical weapons? "Harassing, annoying and 'bad guy'-identifying chemicals." And that's why this Not-Even-Friday, Not-Even-Random Ten goes out to our guys at the Pentagon: Annoying the hell out of the enemy over there so we don't have to annoy them over here.

The Ten:

1. Paul Oakenfold, "Sex Drive"
2. Banx de France, "Sex In a Machine"
3. Marvin Gaye, "Let's Get It On"
4. Original Broadway Cast of Avenue Q, "If You Were Gay"
5. The Police, "Every Breath You Take"
6. Hot Chocolate, "You Sexy Thing"
7. Aqualung, "Brighter Than Sunshine"
8. Robert Palmer, "Simply Irresistable"
9. OMD, "Enola Gay"

And, of course,

10. Tom Jones, "Sexbomb"

Your whatever goes wherever; it's Monday, y'all.

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