Friday, April 21, 2006

On Laura Mallory: This Is Your Soundtrack

Okay, so first off, a public service announcement: if this guy, or anyone else, for that matter, comes to your door and offers to give you a free breast exam, it's actually a scam. Real doctors don't do that. Really.

This Friday Not-Even-Random Ten is dedicated to Laura Mallory, the Loganville mother of three who isn't satisfied with her kids not reading Harry Potter - she's going to make sure yours don't, either. A hearing was held yesterday by the Gwinnett County school board, who expect to have a decision by May 11.

Highlights from the hearing:

From Mallory, an adult, who is adultish, with adult reasoning capabilities and, it is assumed, the intelligence of an average adult:
""Harry Potter teaches children and adults that witchcraft is OK for children," said Laura Mallory, a Loganville mother whose complaint led to the hearing.

From Jordan Fuchs, a fifteen-year-old who apparently found the super-secret-hidden chapter where Harry Potter and friends held a seance, and who needs more supervision during gym class:
One girl, Jordan Fuchs, said she became fascinated with witchcraft after reading the first Potter book. Jordan said she and friends used to cast spells. Once, she said, they performed a seance during gym class. Jordan said she became angry and depressed as she became more enthralled with witchcraft. Jordan said she considered killing herself.

Jordan, now 15, said she has since turned her life around. But she said the books are dangerous.

"I truly believe the Harry Potter books should be banned," she said.

From Jessica Grimes, who is ten:
Jessica Grimes, 10, said the books are her favorite. She said kids understand the stories aren't true. "The books never at any time turned me into a witch or wizard," she said.

I believe that children are our future.

Every bit of faith I have in the future of our children goes to Jessica. The name of a good child and adolescent counselor, as well as the hopes that her parents start paying attention to her every once in a while, go to Jordan. But Laura, this Not-Even-Random Ten is all for you:

1. Rasputina, "Transylvanian Concubine"
2. The Rolling Stones, "Sympathy for the Devil"
3. Guster, "Demons"
4. The Charlie Daniels Band, "The Devil Came Down to Georgia"
5. Diana Krall, "Devil May Care"
6. Elvis, "(You're the) Devil in Disguise"
7. Oxide & Neutrino, "Devil's Nightmare"
8. Face to Face, "The Devil You Know (God Is a Man)"
9. Stevie Wonder, "Superstition"
10. Frank Sinatra, "Witchcraft"

plus the entirety of Orff's Carmina Burana. Your Ten, your additions to my Ten, or, like, whatever, go in comments.

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