Tuesday, April 11, 2006

On things that need to be set straight

Okay, so various rumors have been going around regarding the events of Bloggerpalooza 2006, and I have to wonder where Doug and Kyle got their information. It's time to set the record straight.

First of all, I'm not surprised that Kyle would lie about the absence of sorority girls, because he's married, Travis is married, and the girls were all over them. I think there's some kind of forbidden-fruit thing going on. Anyway, Doug says that the girls were stood up by TKEs, which is ridiculous, because everyone knows that a Kappa Delta would never talk to a TKE in the first place. Some of them had been stood up by the Fijis they were supposed to tailgate with, but some of them brought their dates along, and what with Kirk Herbstreit being there and all, we all knew how that was going to turn out. The details get kind of foggy (there was rain and a lot of alcohol) but the punchline involves Kirk pulling not one, not two, but three Kappa Deltas while Doug wailed on a Fiji in the back of the RV. It was actually kind of cool, Doug's eventual black eye notwithstanding.

The weather was, as Doug and Kyle both mentioned, crappy, but that didn't actually stop the tailgate. Yes, we initially parked in the North Campus parking deck, but once we loaded up into the RV, it became a bit of a party barge and all was well. The biggest problem was the inclusion of a whole bunch of sports bloggers who'd apparently caught wind of the exercise on Doug's blog but hadn't bothered to RSVP - or bring food. I didn't catch names, but the infamous Naked Dawg Blogger showed up, and as you can guess from his name, he wasn't wearing anything but a strategically placed baseball cap and a rub-on bulldog tattoo on his left butt cheek. The RV got a whole lot more crowded when that guy got on. Doug probably didn't notice because he was too far up Kirk's butt, nagging him about blogging for ESPN, and Kirk was just trying to get some play with the Kappa Deltas.

Anyway, the weather cleared up in time for the game, thank goodness. Check out Kyle's and Doug's blogs for more analysis of the game, which, as spring scrimmages are wont to be, was largely inconclusive, from my perspective. But then, I didn't catch the whole thing (Naked Dawg Blogger, e-mail me to let me know where to send your hat).

Oh, and Kyle, I don't know which game you were attending on what day, but I want to make something absolutely clear: the birds were freaking obnoxious. Birds everywhere. It was like that movie, the one about the birds. I forget the name. But they weren't singing, no matter what Doug says; they were freaking screaming like a twelve-year-old at an N'Sync concert. It was almost scary.

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