Okay, so Boston was rocked Wednesday by nearly 40 suspicious devices made of lights and circuitry that were "consistent with an improvised explosive device." Specifically, and IED that looked like this:
After a $750,000 anti-terror effort consisting of several attempts at detonating them and/or shooting them with water cannons to deactivate them, the objects were declared "hoax devices" by city government officials. The perpetrators of the hoax were quickly exposed: two freelance artists supposedly working for Turner Broadcasting in a guerilla marketing campaign to promote the show Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Although TBS claims that this was an innocent event, and although the devices appeared in nine other citites (including New York) without the slightest stir, and although the devices themselves turned out to be nothing more than great big Lite Brites with magnets on them, I think we all know what's really going on here.
It's a Mooninite dry run.
After all, just look at the video threat left later by the terrorists in question:
It's obvious that we're at risk for a far greater threat than anyone realizes. After all, two actual fake pipe bombs were also found that day, and the individual thought responsible for them hasn't even been charged. But the two heartless criminals responsible for the Mooninite "hoax" are being charged with placing a hoax device and disorderly conduct, and Mayor Thomas Menino has suggested prison sentences of two to five years for each of them. Why Guantanamo Bay wasn't mentioned, I don't know.
But this underscores the responsibility of each and every American citizen to smother this Mooninite scourge in its cradle. I have no doubt that President Bush is massing a committee to seek out the Mooninite homeland, wherever it is, and bomb it back to the stone age.
Mooninite delenda est.
Update: The Mooninite sympathizers respond.