Friday, January 04, 2008

On musical tragedy

Okay, so apparently video game songs don't qualify, because I can tell you for sure that the themes from "Tetris" and "Super Mario Brothers" have the penetrative powers to liquify your brain and ruin your day (and just say the words "Legend of Zelda" around my friend Jacob and wait for him to stop giggling). But the staff at Rolling Stone has done what few music fans have the nerves to do: girded themselves with the fortifying powers of Jack Daniel's and determined the twenty most annoying songs of all time.

To wit:

1. Black Eyed Peas, "My Humps"
2. Los Del Rio, “Macarena”
3. Baha Men, “Who Let The Dogs Out”
4. Celine Dion, “My Heart Will Go On”
5. Nickelback, “Photograph”
6. Lou Bega, “Mambo No. 5″
7. James Blunt, “You’re Beautiful”
8. Spice Girls, “Wannabe”
9. Sisqo, “The Thong Song”
10. Cher, “Believe”
11. Aqua, “Barbie Girl”
12. Chumbawumba, “Tub Thumper”
13. Rednex, “Cotton-Eyed Joe”
14. Eiffel 65, “Blue”
15. Crash Test Dummies, “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm”
16. Meatloaf, “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)”
17. ‘NSYNC, “Bye, Bye, Bye”
18. Ricky Martin, “Livin’ La Vida Loca”
19. Semisonic, “Closing Time”
20. Wham!, “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”

I will cop to having two of those in my peripheral music collection, which can be excused by the fact that I was young and foolish when I purchased the CDs, and another five on my iPod, which is just inexcusable. Feel free to guess which seven of the twenty I still own; don't count on my confirming or denying anything. Feel free to leave your own Shame Numbers in comments. I promise not to ask.

Well, no, I might ask. I do promise not to care.

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