Tuesday, June 21, 2005

On being this many

Okay, so it was one year ago today that I sat down and thought, "Hey, y'know, there might be someone out there interested in the inconsequential ramblings rattling around in my head." This post was the unfortunate result. Since then, we've moved on from pointless navel-gazing to even more pointless musings on life, love, politics, religion, and anything having to do with the hind end of a dog. And more than 4,000 of you have sat through the entire damn thing. Suckers.

In honor of this most hallowed of days, I give you a look back on the past twelve months: Practically Harmless, Year One: By the Numbers

6: times the f-bomb has been dropped in the past twelve months
20: times it was dropped on Hey Jenny Slater in the past three months
1: raises received
-5.76: increase in annual take-home pay (in dollars)
32: times I've seen my byline in print
32: times it's given me a little bit of a thrill
2: penpal requests from incarcerated felons
0: requests answered
15: links from other blogs
0: links from "Top 100" blogs (heeeeey…)
4: moths spent "giving it another try" with ex-fiance
2: other girls he was dating without my knowledge during that period
861: US troops lost in Iraq
0: WMD found in Iraq
200: terrorists convicted courtesy of the USA PATRIOT Act, according to the Bush administration
39: terrorists actually convicted
0: terrorist attacks on US soil
0: alien invasions on US soil
8 million: Iraqi citizens voting in January's elections
0: US Senators voting in January's elections
10: signs of impending apocalypse (out of 20)
4: New Year's Resolutions kept (out of 5)
2: Old pope, John Paul
16: New pope, Benedict
78: time spent listening to Honey's evening constitutional (in hours)
1.3: total time for Honey to actually do her business (in hours)
4,235: visitors in the past 12 months
17: visitors not looking for dog porn or dating tips

"No point in mentioning those bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough." Hunter S. Thompson, 1937-2005

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