Tuesday, March 07, 2006

On a your uterus and your bank account (not necessarily in that order)

Okay, so I think it's time for children and the elderly to grab their uteruses, civil liberties and crank-powered flashlights and head down to the storm cellar. Tornadoes have not yet touched down, but the wind is definitely starting to kick up. I've been blogging some things and missing some other things, so here's a nice Government In Your Uterus Roundup.

Steve Bartin tells us what happens when you try to pay off your credit card bill any faster than the government thinks you oughta:
The balance on their JCPenney Platinum MasterCard had gotten to an unhealthy level. So they sent in a large payment, a check for $6,522.

And an alarm went off. A red flag went up. The Soehnges' behavior was found questionable.
They both learned the same astounding piece of information about the little things that can set the threat sensors to beeping and blinking.

They were told, as they moved up the managerial ladder at the call center, that the amount they had sent in was much larger than their normal monthly payment. And if the increase hits a certain percentage higher than that normal payment, Homeland Security has to be notified. And the money doesn't move until the threat alert is lifted.

Have you ever said, to yourself or aloud, "Who cares if they spy on me? I've got nothing to hide"? Good for you. Hope that works out for you.

In other news (or not-so-news; this is actually from Friday), Digby (and no one has said it yet) nails it. S/he brings to our attention South Dakota State Senator Bill Napoli's kinky rape fantasies, which he outlines as he describes The Perfect Virgin who might escape with an abortion under the new state law:
FRED DE SAM LAZARO: Napoli says most abortions are performed for what he calls "convenience." He insists that exceptions can be made for rape or incest under the provision that protects the mother's life. I asked him for a scenario in which an exception may be invoked.

BILL NAPOLI: A real-life description to me would be a rape victim, brutally raped, savaged. The girl was a virgin. She was religious. She planned on saving her virginity until she was married. She was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated. I mean, that girl could be so messed up, physically and psychologically, that carrying that child could very well threaten her life.

Ooh, Bill, tell me more. Whisper it in my ear.

And since you apparently didn't now, it's not the sodomy, even sodomy "as bad as you can possibly make it," that got her pregnant.

Thanks to EKO at Daily Kos for South Dakota's new tourism logo:

I know I'm relieved that the government can tell me when to pay off my credit card and when to be pregnant. Self-determination is such a freaking burden.

Update: Courtesy of Crooks and Liars, we have dear Mr. Napoli on video. The rape fantasies, which seem to me even creepier when he's saying them out loud, start about two-thirds of the way through; hold on 'til the very end to hear his nostalgia for the shotgun weddings of the "Wild West."

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