Come on, guys. Doug only has so many expandable appliances.
Doug has some good advice for the Dawgs, namely for the defense to keep doin' what they doin' and for the offense to get in the freaking game already, and for Coach Richt (may his towels always be soft and fluffy even when he forgets the fabric softener) to have a little more consistency with his QBs. I personally would like to see Mark (may he find a twenty in a pair of pants he hasn't worn since last fall) calling things a little less conservatively; if you're worried about the strength of T3's arm, give him linesmen who'll give him time to set up, and if you're worried about Stafford's lack of control on long balls, give him a receiver who'll be under the ball when he throws it long. It's a cliche, I know, but expect great things of these guys, and you'll get great results, 'cause they're cool like that.
Now, for the record, I'm just a caveman. Your world frightens and confuses me. But everyone is entitled to their own backseat coaching once in a while, so here's mine:
Give JoeT3 a big hug and send him out onto the field. Line him up with Daniel Inman and Ken Shackleford, and tell them that their future with the team depends on the number of orange helmets they're able to bring back to the locker room. Put Martrez Milner and Danny Ware out where Joe can see 'em, then give the ball to Kregg Lumpkin.
I like the strategy to give him a half and a possession to really find a rhythm. Should that rhythm not be forthcoming, I'd want Matt Stafford overthrowing to someone who can overrun him, and to me, that means Thomas Brown or A.J. Bryant. Ideally, though, I'd say give the ball to Kregg Lumpkin.
Ginger Joe Cox, bless his heart, I'd pump full of beta blockers and tell him to give the ball to... Well, you get it.
And while I'm here, can I just say that the brilliant idea of shortening games by starting the clock as soon as the ball is marked for play after a change of possession is brilliant on the scale of New Coke and "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire"? Call me crazy, but an ideal way to shorten a football game is probably not so much to spend less time playing football but maybe - just maybe - to quit stopping the game so viewers at home can hear this very special message from Papa John's.
Anyway, for a game like this one, a Bonus Friday Not-Even-Random Ten is in order, and this one is dedicated to the 2006 Georgia Bulldogs and to Coach Richt (may his Vegas exploits forever remain in Vegas). Sniff. I love y'all! Tear their heads off, guys.
1. The Charlie Daniels Band, "The Devil Came Down to Georgia"
2. Lo-Fidelity Allstars, "Battle Flag"
3. Q-Tip, "Go Hard"
4. Big Audio Dynamite, "Rush"
5. Gorillaz, "Rock the House"
6. Cake, "The Distance"
7. Queen, "Don't Stop Me Now"
8. 311, "Strong All Along"
9. Guster, "The Prize"
10. Kaiser Chiefs, "I Predict a Riot"
Your Ten, your weekend football predictions, your whatever go below.